Novel Watch #21: +2.5 pages [1/62 revised]
I’m moving ahead with my revision. I need to move a little faster, but at least I’m making some progress. Today I added more to my new Chapter 1 (my old Chapter 1 is now Chapter 3), and began the process of reworking the old prologue into Chapter 2. Now that I’ve got a better handle on Bandolor it makes a bit more sense, and I can cut out some of the awkwardness that was there when I first wrote the prologue.
I’ve revised 1 out of 62 pages. That means that I have taken approximately a page of my previous draft and reworked it. In general, though, reworking means that I’m adding more text than I’m taking out, or so it seems, and most of that is just to make thinks flow well, rather than adding major plot changes or new events. Those come later in the redraft.
It’s nice to see how I’ve learned a little about these characters. Adrianna in Chapter 1 seems to be working better, and Bandolor is a bit clearer now that I’ve learned about how sorcery works in my made-up world (you wouldn’t think I’d have to learn that, would you?). So, progress is good. More tomorrow!
Here’s Bandolor’s opening as it stands. Still a little awkward, but it’s getting better. It’s closer to what I’m looking for in my final product, and I’m still expecting another revision process after I get to the end of the book.
Bandolor O’Sorce stood on Mount Jormu’s plateau and stared deep into the stone serpent’s gullet, its carven head and fangs looming above him. From deep within the mountain’s twisting caverns, the true Serpent’s breath drifted out as a dank wind. Bandolor inhaled deeply, letting the beast’s breath swirl down into his lungs, tasting the magic in its exhalation, the invisible particles of sorcery like burning embers in his mouth.