Comments on: Novel Watch #38: +2 pages [98.5 total]

By: c1

c1 — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 08:52:15 +0000

3gf: I believe “party” involves you, me, our brother, screwdrivers, and Star Trek: TNG…

Jacob: I couldn’t figure out where 3gf wanted you to go with the quote either. What’s going on in HIS brain??!?
(I’ve never had trouble with my English when learning a foreign language; I’ve just had trouble with mixing up the foreign languages. It’s irksome when you can only remember French when you need Italian, and only remember Italian when you need the French…)

By: Jacob

Jacob — Sun, 14 Oct 2007 15:32:42 +0000

Don’t worry. It’s just my way of saying, “Your story is a hideous beast that should be slaughtered.” (I actually had no idea where you were expecting me to go with it.) And I believe the word you’re looking for is, “Menschlichkeit.”

By: 3 Green Fish

3 Green Fish — Sun, 14 Oct 2007 10:21:36 +0000

Jacob: Wow, that was almost exactly not where I thought you’d go with that. I bow before your unpredictability. Good work.

Except, you know, for the angles thing. ;—)

As for your language woes, oh the humanschlichkeit, indeed. Oh wait. Argh. Now you’ve got me mixing up German and English words. Yeesh.

c1: Oh yeah. Party time!
Hm. How does one party again? You’d think after being around for 24 years I’d have figured that one out by now…

By: Jacob

Jacob — Sun, 14 Oct 2007 06:26:07 +0000

…God damn it, you just had to ruin my fun, didn’t you? I knew there was a typo hiding in there somewhere. And here I thought I had written the perfect clichÃ© paragraph. Rippling muscles, useless women, unlikely monsters, big swords, … and geometry. Neh!

I blame it on German. No, really. The better I get at German, the more idioms I learn, the more quickly I’m able to think in the language, the worse my English gets. I pick the wrong vowels when I try to spell, I use the wrong auxiliary verbs, I mistake words that sound similar, I can’t remember definitions for things, I can’t get my sentence structure straight.

At some point, my German and English will be equal. At that point, I’ll be illiterate in both. Oh the humanity.

By: c1

c1 — Sun, 14 Oct 2007 05:41:01 +0000

Hmm. Jacob, can you explain to me again how angles breathe? ‘Cuz I thought angles were just when two lines shared a common endpoint.

(”weak female minds” can snark too :P)

Curtis: there should be a celebration of sorts when you pass the 100-page mark!

By: Jacob

Jacob — Sat, 13 Oct 2007 19:33:37 +0000

With great shaking, a crevice in the ground opened with a cascade of rock and and heaved forth Jacob, his locks of long blonde hair flowing behind him as though blown by the breath of a thousand angles.

“I have been called upon! What have we here?” Jacob’s voice rang out loudly and powerfully. He shook his mighty sword, the Orc Slayer, and the trio of voluptuous nymphs hanging off his arm swooned and fainted, the muscles rippling under his bronzed skin too powerful for their weak female minds to grasp. “Aha, a story!” He stared towards it, surveying its batlike wings and nine hissing heads, acidic saliva dripping from the blood-stained fangs of each, wetly sizzling as it oozed over the ground. He grinned fiercely, the sun glinting off his immaculate white teeth, and gripped his sword powerfully with his massive, rough hands. “I eat stories for breakfast.” With a sound like a supersonic whip crack, Jacob dashed forward, plunged his sword deep into the beast’s side, and laughed his trademark laugh, a powerful, booming sound like thunder, which immediately caused his three companions to wake, cry out orgasmically, and begin wiggling out of their two-sizes-too-small bikini tops and soaking wet thongs. “That ain’t tomatoes makin’ the broth red,” Jacob remarked wittily, “that’s called blood. And I win again.”