3 Green Fish

For ease of mathematical quantification, 3 Green Fish uses a ten point rating system. Each review gets a number from 0 to 11 out of 10, along with a final analysis. In general, this is what you should expect from a review of something getting the following scores:

• 11/10 – Holy $#*%! Nothing could garner this score . . . could it???
• 10/10 – Perfect. Couldn’t get any better. Succeeds at everything it tries to do. Not a single flaw in sight. Betters humanity by its sheer existence.
• 9/10 – Awesome. Cream of the crop. Fails to attain a perfect score not because of faults, but because there are parts of it that, while great, could be even better. Someone should get a medal.
• 8/10 – Great. Quite spiff, high quality, that sort of thing. Could be improved, but generally of high quality.
• 7/10 – Good. Has lots of nice qualities to it. Maybe its marred by some faults, but still recommended. If it’s a product and you like this sort of thing, then you should check it out.
• 6/10 – Above Average. Takes a few normal or average things and makes them just a tad better.
• 5/10 – Average. Run of the mill. Usually for things that are either generally not notable, or that have highly polarized features, some really bad, and some rather good, that balance each other out.
• 4/10 – Below average. Almost there, but falls short. Could have been decent, but isn’t. A lost opportunity.
• 3/10 – Poor. Strives to get it right, but just can’t. Like trying to win a mime competition by yelling as loud as possible. Alternatively, its faults may lie more in its intentions than its quality. Say you’ve got a movie that, while well acted, directed, shot, etc, is ethically bankrupt and advocates the murder of baby seals. That kind of thing would probably end up here, or below.
• 2/10 – Unpleasant. Leaves a yucky taste in your mouth. Like mold. Still, where there’s mold, there’s often bread too. Not entirely vacuous and/or evil, but the intellectual vacuum, immorality, or bad aesthetic sensibility is predominant.
• 1/10 — Bad. Could be worse, but not by much. Maybe there are a few redeeming qualities. Or one redeeming quality.
• 0/10 – Horrible. Sucks like a festering chest wound. The very fact that I even considered it probably means that my soul is forever tainted by it. The world is permanently scarred by the very existence of whatever this is.